Sex Talk: Sex Therapists Speak about Sex and Relationships


Polyamory by David Yarian PhD


Polyamory: Many Loves Polyamory, from the Greek words for many + love, refers to the conscious choice to participate in more than one emotionally and sexually intimate relationship at a time, with the knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Polyamory differs from swinging in its emphasis on committed, emotionally intimate relationships rather than transitory, [...]

Sex Positive Perspective by David Yarian PhD

Sex Positive Perspective

The Sex Positive movement The Sex Positive movement is an important development in thinking about sexuality. This perspective regards sex as a positive attribute of human life, rather than a negative and frightening force to be repressed and controlled. The sex positive movement sees all mutually consensual sexual behavior as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable. Pleasure, [...]

The Mindful Practice of Intimacy by David Yarian PhD

The Mindful Practice of Intimacy

(This article was originally published in the Summer 2015 issue of NPI Reflects, the quarterly journal of the Nashville Psychotherapy Institute.) Low Desire is a common reason for seeking Sex Therapy Since becoming a certified sex therapist in 2004, I’ve worked with many couples who present with “low desire,” a rather subjective term. Remember Woody [...]

Spice Up Your Relationship in Three Easy Steps by David Yarian PhD

Step One: Make time to spend together. Reestablish your friendship. Remember what drew you together in the beginning. Make time to relax together. A weekend away from home/kids/responsibilities is an excellent way to start. Don’t feel pressured about sex. A hurried sexual experience at the end of a long day when you are tired is [...]

The Heart Flow by David Yarian PhD

The Heart Flow

This is a lovely Intimacy Practice that invites contact and nourishes the participants with a profound flow of energy. Face your partner and make eye contact. You can be standing or sitting. Smile.  Pay attention to your breath as you drink in the energy of your partner’s presence. Notice what you see in your partner’s [...]

Introduction to Intimacy Practices

Exercises Designed to Enhance Intimacy Intimacy Practices are brief exercises performed with your partner, for the purpose of exploring, deepening, and enjoying your intimate connection. Intimacy here is not a euphemism for sex, but refers to a profound connection between two open hearts and two spirits. This connection takes place more in the heart and [...]

Deepen Your Intimacy with a Daily Connection by David Yarian PhD

Nurture your Intimate Relationship Closeness and emotional connection require attention to maintain and deepen over time. Initially, two people who are drawn to each other may be swept away by the power of their mutual attraction and the pleasure of getting closer. The early days of a relationship can feel like a delightful whirlwind of [...]

Better Sex

Better Sex

Media Representations of Sex Are Often Unrealistic Have better sex! Trumpets the headline of the latest Cosmo/MensWomensHealthFit mags in the checkout line at the grocery. By which they usually mean, have more sex/orgasms with more chiseled abs more times maybe with more partners. The net result of this approach to sexuality “education” is to make [...]

Do Kegels to improve your sexual performance and strengthen the PC muscle

Kegels strengthen the PC muscle Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D.’s useful blog post Kegel Exercises Offer Sexual Benefits to Both Women and Men notes that researchers have discovered that Kegel exercises, which were originally developed to help women with urinary control issues after childbirth, also offer sexual benefits to both women and men. Kegel exercises are the rhythmic [...]

The Challenge of Intimate Communication

Successful intimate communication — talking with your partner about your sexual relationship — requires more attention and focus than most of us give to it. It’s a high-intensity, high-stakes interaction with lots of feelings on the line. Too much of the time, we slide away from facing squarely this very important conversation. I’ve written two [...]

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